The Side Effects of Binge-Watching TV Shows

battlestar-galactica

I didn’t even know binge-watching was a term. I thought I was just blazing the trail by being super productive and watching entire seasons of a popular show on Netflix in a few sittings. I kept thinking about those poor saps who watched one episode a week with commercials, then left with a cliffhanger.

My first victim was Battlestar Galactica. My good friend Ferris told me for two years how great this show was but I didn’t believe him. Out of sheer boredom I gave it a shot and boy was I hooked. I was staying up until 3am during the week, watching five episodes a night, with red wine of course. But the next night I always had to rewatch the last episode because I’d fallen asleep. I heard cylons flying above my apartment at night. I downloaded the BSG soundtrack for my gym playlist. I used the word frakking. I wanted to be buff like the rest of the fleet. I wanted to wear dark khakis, be Starbuck’s bff and save the universe together.

Madmen

A few months later, I had ACL surgery. I had two weeks of shut in on my couch. Mad Men was in my future. Suddenly I had cravings for scotch and smoking, even though I didn’t like either. I was strangely more confident about my curvy figure and wanted to motorboat Joan, even though I’m not gay. In the end I just bought myself red lipstick.

Walking-Dead

Last year I was out for a month recovering from foot surgery. A MONTH. You have no idea what it does to the psyche. Luckily I discovered The Walking Dead. I fell in love with Rick, who didn’t? I wished I had a southern twangy accent and torn jeans. I swear I heard walkers walking around and breathing heavily in my apartment at night. They’d replaced the cylons. I wondered how I’d escape my from apartment if walkers broke in. I gave this serious thought.

Breaking-Bad

Then I switched to Breaking Bad. Although I didn’t want to try meth, I did want to try Jesse Pinkman in a bad way. I wanted to take a road trip to New Mexico in a beater El Camino, eat some blue corn tortillas and buy some turquoise jewelry, with Jesse of course.

sopranos

Currently I’m on another medical leave for a month from my third foot surgery. I had been putting off the show that everyone said I would resonate the most with – SOPRANOS. I felt like that was my life growing up – strip clubs, mafia, murder, New Jersey? I’d been there, if you know what I mean. Then I caved and watched it – WOW – I finished the series in a week and a half, averaging about 10 episodes a day. It was like watching old home movies, at times a little too close to home and made me miss my father. I craved baked ziti and red wine, like all day long. I finished the series last week and am currently suffering from post-Sopranos depression. I secretly mourned James Gandolfini. I can’t find anyone else who can possibly compare to my friends Tony and Carmella.

Did I happen to mention I don’t have cable? So I had to get creative with my show watching. All in all? Some damn good TV watching, a vivid imagination and a few scars…

6 thoughts on “The Side Effects of Binge-Watching TV Shows

  1. I highly recommend binge watching Portlandia. The 3rd season has a great episode about binge watching Battlestar Gallatica I think you will appreciate.

    After I am done watching all there is of a show, its true, I always feel like my friends stopped coming by. Right now, I am really missing the transgender hair dresser from Orange is the New Black

  2. LOL as usual with your posts. I thought I invented binge watching too. You must watch the Portlandia episode Noelle mentions and get cracking on the rest of Portlandia and Lost if you haven’t already. You rule!

  3. Don’t forget ‘The Wire’ — but a woman so well-versed as you in binge TV must have already powered through this! It is: The Best of the Best.

  4. Pingback: The Year In Woods – 2013 | L A U R E L W O O D S

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